Happiness

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face.

I made it through a whole work-week. Getting up and getting out of the house and onto projects at work has been therapeutic. I guess my mother was right after all. I used to hate it when that happened but now it reassures me.  I cling to her reassuarnces.

I still had a half hour before I needed to get up and I just lay there, enjoying the moment. My hand on my hard baby bump, nestled next to the love of my life. I think I’m starting to feel what it’s going to be like, being a family.

I can’t wait.

November 20, 2009. love, second trimester. Leave a comment.

On kindness

The year: 2005

N and I were back in Singapore trying to find work. We lived in a ghetto apartment and our income was solely a few tutoring jobs I held. We had no money and we shared a cellphone. Everyday while I was out tutoring my students, N would work on his portfolio and job applications.

One day when I was returning home it started to rain particularly hard. Singapore’s tropical storms are no joke, buckets of water are dumped on you. The winds beat the rains into sheltered walkways and you’re pretty much assured a good soaking if you go outside.  The walk home from where I would alight was a good 5-10 minutes and was not sheltered most of the way. We had no water heater at our place so I wouldn’t be able to warm up with a hot shower when I got home. The rain showed no signs of slowing, so, cursing,  I gritted my teeth and decided I would brave the storm to get my umbrella-less sorry self home as possible. Just as I turned the corner from the bus stop was the Immigration Building which was the last bit of shelter I would get and as I looked out ahead into the sheets of rain I was about to submerge myself in, there he stood, my future husband, holding an umbrella against the downpour. I was stunned, he didn’t have a way of contacting me to let me know he would wait for me with an umbrella, he just decided to come and find me there somehow so I wouldn’t have to brave the rains alone without an umbrella.

I thank the Universe everyday that I have him to bring me shelter and to walk me home in the rain.

September 22, 2009. Tags: . love. Leave a comment.

Taken for granted

Just hours after finding out about the the little bean, N had to go on a business trip. His first one ever! I helped him pack and was so proud of how amazing he is at his job that they need him to go overseas to make sure things are going according to plan. In our years living in Singapore we have been fortunate enough not to have to travel for work. We have taken for granted our evenings spent laying about together after dinner dissecting our days for each other. This week has been tough without him. Pregnancy hormones are raging and I miss my level headed always optimistic partner-in-life.

There are so many things in life its easy to take for granted. Complaining about not enough money or not enough free time to spend with family and friends is such an easy habit to fall into that I am so guilty of. Living in a country away from our families and many of our best friends is tough too. Last month we missed our beloved mother’s 55th birthday (N’s mom). This month I miss my Grandfather’s 70th birthday, my little brother’s 10th along with my beautiful Ma’s and my best friend’s birthdays. Next month my other bestie will celebrate another birthday without me buying her a drink (again) and our nephew will turn one without us ever having met him.

N’s absence this week has made me weepy but also helped me realize that I am so fortunate to have him in my life loving me everyday. It’s the same with everyone else who is absent from our regular daily schedule – they are all so special and give so much value to being alive even though we don’t get to see them everyday, the world really is a better place because they exist.

September 15, 2009. Tags: , . first trimester, love, pregnancy. Leave a comment.